Hey Sylvia,
I missed this post on Friday - so sorry :-/
The conversation part looks cool - have you thought about doing the whole thing as a conversation? Or a news report? Or something to make the first minute (163 words) more hooky?
One of the reasons for using explainer videos is to help with this exact kind of content. My fish brain didn't get past the second paragraph - so 10 seconds of reading it and I was daydreaming - ok, it is Sunday and that could be part of it lol
Para 1 and 2 will be easy to add graphics to and those will help folks stay tuned in. Para 3 may take a bit of work though. You could try to move more of the info in para 3 into the conversation section.
K, that's my 2 cents - or 5 cents - 'cos of the whole no more pennies thing :- )
jamie