SCoPE - BCcampus Learning + Teaching
The Signs Of A Keeper
I used to have a Trapper Keeper. Boy did I love my Trapper Keeper. It kept traps. It was ATL all the way. All white everything. In fact, my trapper keeper thought it was Big Meech.
Now I can’t remember exactly what about it made it so special to me but I loved it until the day it got run over in the streets . Or maybe it got raped in the streets since they rapin’ everybody out here. The main bullet point here is that it was special. Nobody could tell me anything about my binder. It was a keeper. I loved it and hugged it and did all kinds of dreaming about the day that me and my keeper would graduate from college together and get jobs as managers at McDonald’s.
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So all of that was a lie.
But what isn’t a lie is that there are different things that each of us look to in order to determine if somebody we’re with is a keeper. It could be a character thing. It could be something physical. It can be mental. Sometimes you don’t even know it until you see it. Despite this, there are some general characteristics that ALL keepers have. Period. Such as? No problem.
1. The female members of the family love him or her
This holds especially true for women. If mom dukes and the overprotective sisters (or is that just me…I have A LOT of sisters) really like a woman – and you will definitely know if moms likes her – then she just might be a keeper. While women often make horrid decisions in men (shots fired) one thing they know is a bad woman when they see one. Men have a little bit of an easier go with this one as most of the men in the family will be fine with him if he’s into sports and isn’t a douche. The women will probably focus more on how he looks and then his resume to figure that he sucks until much later when they’re on dontdatehimgirl.com and see his profile and read about his 17 kids all named &.
And yes, I meant to put the name “&”.
2. They are able to handle stressful situations without making everybody around them worse
You ever been dating somebody and when they get stressed you feel like you did something wrong? No? Just me? I’m convinced that the way people handle stress will let you know everything you need to know. If they shut down and sulk all day. You’re in for a f*cked up life. If they throw things, somebody’s going to jail. If they take a minute to be pissy or worried but then focus on solutions and positivity….KEEP THEM. Contrary to popular belief there are a lot of people out here who can’t handle stress to save their lives. Just like dumb girls get you dead, and dumb guys become CEOs, axe murderers and ugly chipmunks will get you evicted.
Take that to the bank.
3. You feel better about yourself when they’re around
While I recongize that some folks have the self-esteem of Eeyore and therefore feel better when ANYBODY is around, I more mean that person who kicks up your positive energy and makes you want to build sh*t. Heck, I’ve been with a woman who made me want to built log cabins before. So I bought Lincoln Logs. Of course, I ALSO wanted to kick them sh*ts over like 15 minutes AFTER putting them up because of her, but she’s an ex for a reason right? But if somebody actually makes you want to go do something different in the world, like adopt goldfish and hug cacti. Or cactuses.
4. They like Outkast and can say the words “damn damn damn James” at all possible times
5. They read Loveawake Blog
How’d that get in there?
6. They support you even when you aren’t sure about your own sh*t
I don’t believe in unhealthy relationships unless it involves gluttonous eating at Chipotle and Don Pablo’s. But when you are with somebody who supports even your bad ideas just enough to keep you believing in yourself, well, you can’t just let them go. So what that Icey Hot Toilet Seat didn’t work out, they’re going to use it because it was your idea. Yes you do look fat in those jeans, but you know what, they’re your jeans and we love you in them. And if you want to go the gym, we’ll go too. Because like Lenny Williams, we love you, you keeper you.
Those are a few signs of a surefire keeper, what are others?
And yes, Kool-Aid in the fridge is the universal sign of a keeper.