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So… You Want to Date a Single Dad.
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So… you want to date a single dad, do you? I don’t blame you. Single dads are pretty dang awesome. But if you have your eye on one, there are a few things you should know about them. Consider this a “how to date a single dad” advice list. You’re going to need it. At least if you’ve found yourself a good one.
First, you should know that he’s going to talk about his kids. A lot.
I know, I know, the conversation should be greatly focused about you, him, and both of your awesomeness on a first date, but you have to understand that single dads live and breathe their kids and their kids’ happiness, so give him a minute or twenty to get it out of his system. He’ll eventually realize he’s doing it and the conversation will then become first date appropriate.
During that time, you’ll hear all about his kids’ sports, his kids’ accomplishments, his kids’ science projects, and possibly even his kids’ most recent pooping problems. If he starts telling you about the bicycle technique that works wonders for child constipation, trust me… you’ve found a winner.
Next, you should know that single dads may show up not completely groomed.
Their hair might be overdue for a cut. Their facial hair may be longer or thicker or less-shaven than they usually like. They may have some ketchup or other undistinguishable stains on their sleeves that they didn’t notice. They may look a little tired.
This is totally normal and something you will eventually find to be very sexy. You see, single dads are trying to do it all… Raise their kids, and maintain a home, and support their families. Sometimes, it is everything they can do to get out the door to come see you in the first place.
Which brings me to the next point. They may be a little late for the date. Trust me, they don’t want to be and they did their best not to be, but there is just not *quite* enough time in any day to get it all done.
Next, you should know that they will probably not want to take you back to their place for quite some time. Two reasons. 1) they really don’t want their kids meeting any new person in their life until they are sure it is going to last a long while. And 2) even if their kids aren’t there, they know that at any given time it looks like an A-bomb went off in their house. And because first impressions are everything, and because their time is limited, they will want to wait until you won’t be scared right out the door. Either make it easy for them and tell them you appreciate environments that leave you fearing for your health, or invite them to your place for a snuggle and a movie. Trust me, they could use a home away from home for the evening.
Next, know that they may not be as available as you want them to be. Most single men have only two things to worry about. Work and their social lives. Single fathers have an infinite list of things to worry about. With each child comes hundreds of preoccupations and worries that will steal their attention and ability to spend as much time with you as you or they might like. Where you may be wanting two or three nights a week, they may at best be able to give you one. And they will probably have ketchup stains when they show up there, too. You see, to come see you, they had to feed their kids corn dogs for dinner because they were already running ten minutes late.
On that same note, single dads may not get back to you as quickly as you like. It’s just how it is. If you always need a text back within 30 seconds, a single dad is not right for you. If you need a text back within three hours, a single dad might not be right for you. Hell. If you need a text back the same day, a single dad might not be right for you. Sometimes, it just doesn’t happen and it’s not because we don’t want to. It’s because between homework, and stories, and karate lessons, and parent teacher conferences, and mandatory work meetings that go late, and shopping, and cleaning… texts sit unread and unanswered on our phones for a while. That’s all.
Next, single dads will over-evaluate just about everything that makes you, well, you as they decide if you’re someone that would be good in their kids’ lives. You’re not dating just him, remember, and one of the sexiest things you can be is a good influence on his kids’ lives. He’s not shopping for a mother. Don’t ever think that. He is, however, interested in finding someone that will enhance and add important flavor and spice to his children if it ever gets that far. Nothing is more important to him when he’s dating. I promise you that.
Yes, dating a single dad can be tricky. As much as he’d like to, he may not be able to get completely lost in twitterpation over you. He may not be able to spend every waking moment with you. He may not be able to be everything that a twenty year old guy can be when it comes to meeting and falling in love.
But there is a huge plus side to single dads too, you know. Beautiful things that make dating a good single dad so worth it.
First and foremost, you get to see exactly what kind of father he is going to be before you ever have to commit too much of your life to him. And here’s a secret. He’s probably going to be a pretty good one because single dads are usually in their children’s lives because they want to be. They don’t take for granted a single moment they get to spend with their kids.
Second, the time he does have to share with you is precious to him, and he’s always going to treat it as such. If he likes you, he won’t want to play games and waste time pretending he’s disinterested or some crap like that.
Third, he values and appreciates companionship. Constantly being alone with his kids has given him perspective that will make him more present when you’re together.
Fourth, single dads can appreciate quiet. Some of the best moments you’ll ever experience with a single dad is the moments when neither of you say anything for what seems like forever. You just hold hands, and snuggle, and enjoy the moment. Single dads don’t get a lot of quiet moments.
Fifth, single dads have had to develop and fine tune their patience. They have learned to embrace their loving and caring sides. They have learned to be nurturers and givers. They have learned to put themselves last for the well being of the ones they love.
And finally, single dads tend to know what they want. You can take them at their word when they tell you what they want. And if you are what they want, you can trust that when they tell you so. They don’t just feed you lines to get you interested or to sleep with you. Not the good ones.
Dating a single dad is as simple and as difficult as that.
So if you find yourself enthralled with your new man’s ability to talk in the style of a Disney prince and tape together cardboard into a fancy homemade castle…
And if you find yourself captivated by your new man’s incredibly powerful yet gentle touch…
And if you find yourself charmed by your new man’s calm yet unquestionable confidence that only a good dad knows how to pull off…Then cut him some slack for the delayed texts and the ketchup stains. It’ll be worth it. Single dads are awesome people to date and fall in love with. At least the good single dads are.